Deconstructing Child Care for Three in Hoboken

Having a means hiring full-time child care for the first time in my life. The last time I contemplated the logistics and costs of hiring full-time care, it caused one of the greatest existential crises of my life. I wound up abandoning a 10-year corporate career and because that was the best solution for our family. I have learned several things from my experiences with my two older children:

• Get on daycare waitlists as soon as I conceive.
  The Hoboken daycare waitlists for infants are typically over a year long. How that is physically possible when a pregnancy lasts only nine months is beyond me, but that's what I was told last time I applied (I was four months pregnant). And then I got a call that a spot was available when my daughter was six weeks old; given that the minimum admission age was three months, I found that equally confounding.
• I am going to need help at night.
  Months two through four after I give birth tend to be the hardest for me and my husband. I typically need seven hours of sleep to be at my best the next day; cumulative sleep deprivation cause frequent car accidents (don't worry, nobody got hurt, but we repeatedly assaulted a parking column). With our second kid we just didn't drive for a few months. Easy to do in a walking town like Hoboken but not an option with baby #3 since I have client visits in Central and South Jersey at least once a week.
• I need child care for two hour stretches at different times throughout the day
  Two hours is the right amount of time to get the kids ready for school and to make serious progress on a work project or attend an in-town meeting. I also need one full day each week for business meetings, typically Monday, Tuesday or Thursday.

Now let's look at the pros and cons of my three child care options:

• Daycare
  Pros: No payroll tax or liability issues of having someone in the house. Cons: Only provides care for one child, is not very flexible, and baby has a higher chance of getting sick. Cost: My daycare of choice charges $1,500 per month or $13/hour for part-time care.
• Nanny
  Pros: Care for all three kids, meals cooked & some cleanup, care for children when sick or on vacation. Cons: Nanny tax, inflexible hours, potential abuse or neglect unless I get a nanny cam, reliability issues since I am relying on one person. Cost: $20/hour for three kids. Some people pay their nannies weekly – $600 for one child is pretty standard, with a small increase for each additional child.
• Au Pair
  Pros: No payroll tax, care for all three kids, on-call conflict mediator, flexible hours that vary weekly and can include nights, child cooking & some cleanup. Cons: Limit of 45 hours per week and maximum of two year stay, privacy & housing issues, risk of a bad fit causing host family to be out airfare and application fees. Cost: An infant specialist program is $340 per week, not including food or utilities. Andrea Coyle of AuPairCare says Hoboken families tend to have more au pair choices because there is no need to drive.

No two ways about it, having a third child in Hoboken is going to be expensive and complicated.

To read more about what makes Kathy Zucker tick, check out her blog at http://momcondoliving.com/ and follow her at http://twitter.com/kathyzucker