Deconstructing Child Care for Three in Hoboken
Kathy Zucker is making a list of all the things she needs to consider when choosing child care for three children.
Having a third child means hiring full-time child care for the first time in my life. The last time I contemplated the logistics and costs of hiring full-time care, it caused one of the greatest existential crises of my life. I wound up abandoning a 10-year corporate career and staying home because that was the best solution for our family. I have learned several things from my experiences with my two older children:
- Get on daycare waitlists as soon as I conceive.
The Hoboken daycare waitlists for infants are typically over a year long. How that is physically possible when a pregnancy lasts only nine months is beyond me, but that's what I was told last time I applied (I was four months pregnant). And then I got a call that a spot was available when my daughter was six weeks old; given that the minimum admission age was three months, I found that equally confounding. - I am going to need help at night.
Months two through four after I give birth tend to be the hardest for me and my husband. I typically need seven hours of sleep to be at my best the next day; cumulative sleep deprivation cause frequent car accidents (don't worry, nobody got hurt, but we repeatedly assaulted a parking column). With our second kid we just didn't drive for a few months. Easy to do in a walking town like Hoboken but not an option with baby #3 since I have client visits in Central and South Jersey at least once a week. - I need child care for two hour stretches at different times throughout the day
Two hours is the right amount of time to get the kids ready for school and to make serious progress on a work project or attend an in-town meeting. I also need one full day each week for business meetings, typically Monday, Tuesday or Thursday.
Now let's look at the pros and cons of my three child care options:
- Daycare
Pros: No payroll tax or liability issues of having someone in the house. Cons: Only provides care for one child, is not very flexible, and baby has a higher chance of getting sick. Cost: My daycare of choice charges $1,500 per month or $13/hour for part-time care. - Nanny
Pros: Care for all three kids, meals cooked & some cleanup, care for children when sick or on vacation. Cons: Nanny tax, inflexible hours, potential abuse or neglect unless I get a nanny cam, reliability issues since I am relying on one person. Cost: $20/hour for three kids. Some people pay their nannies weekly – $600 for one child is pretty standard, with a small increase for each additional child. - Au Pair
Pros: No payroll tax, care for all three kids, on-call conflict mediator, flexible hours that vary weekly and can include nights, child cooking & some cleanup. Cons: Limit of 45 hours per week and maximum of two year stay, privacy & housing issues, risk of a bad fit causing host family to be out airfare and application fees. Cost: An infant specialist program is $340 per week, not including food or utilities. Andrea Coyle of AuPairCare says Hoboken families tend to have more au pair choices because there is no need to drive.
No two ways about it, having a third child in Hoboken is going to be expensive and complicated.
To read more about what makes Kathy Zucker tick, check out her blog at http://momcondoliving.com/ and follow her at http://twitter.com/kathyzucker
Craven Moorehead
7:26 am on Friday, May 20, 2011
This is good stuff, I'll make sure my wife reads it. And thanks for posting a picture with snow in it to relate to the story, I appreciate this warm weather even more now.
Kathy Zucker
8:35 am on Friday, May 20, 2011
Thanks for your kind words! Child care in Hoboken tends to be confusing, complicated & expensive. That is one of the reasons why I put together the Metro Mom Expo (http://metromomexpo.com/); so people can get a Cliffs Notes version from the experts about what to expect, and also a forum to ask those random questions that always come up (ie. does my baby have to have a flu shot for daycare).
Kathy Zucker
10:32 am on Friday, May 20, 2011
Correction: the AuPairCare infant specialist program is $365/week, not $340/week.
morey amsterdam
9:42 am on Monday, May 23, 2011
Lady you got a lot of time on your hands and a lot of disposable income too. With these kinds of "problems" you could always consider not having a third child. That would really simply things - and be better for planet earth. You and your husband's DNA is not as special as you think it is.
Redrider765
9:53 am on Monday, May 23, 2011
It is her beat. Sports writers write about sports, she does articles about family life in town. You don't have to read it if you don't want to.
Grafix Avenger
10:34 am on Monday, May 23, 2011
Jeez, not sure if you're looking for input.
I'd say, don't do it.
Lotso
12:39 am on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I hope too many new parents don't take your stuff too seriously. Your overall point is valid -but the details of daycare and nanny costs and options are so far from reality. 3 kids is a bunch. It's expensive, crazy, and fun. I just hope most people understand that you are not a parenting expert in any way, shape, or form and your opinions are often very limited in scope and perspective. You seem to have a very nice family and be active in the community. I wish you the best.
Kathy Zucker
1:14 am on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thanks for your comment. It is difficult to produce relevant columns week after week when I know they are going to be analyzed down to the word. At a certain point all I can do is hit publish and put it out of my mind.
Do I represent a narrow population niche? Absolutely. There are not many NYC-native Ivy-league educated households in New Jersey. However, Hoboken residents are higher income than the rest of Hudson County, and they delay childbearing, hence all the IVF posters on Washington St. Hoboken moms face issues that tend to be more similar to those faced by NYC moms than by NJ moms.
My husband and I waited to have children until we were financially rock solid; we are fortunate to even be able to consider having a third child. I try to write about issues that are relevant to the hundreds of moms I have spoken with over the last few years. We each have our own parenting journey that is going to be different from everyone else's, and all we can do is share information in the hope that it will help someone else. I am sorry my writing has not helped you in any way; it has benefited others.
I am open to hearing about inexpensive child care options, but for many people having a relative or unemployed friend provide inexpensive child care simply isn't an option. Please feel free to post links to inexpensive local daycares or child care services that are open to people earning more than $50k/year; I look forward to learning about how to cut costs!
Eric
12:09 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
"Do I represent a narrow population niche? Absolutely. There are not many NYC-native Ivy-league educated households in New Jersey."
I am not sure I understand what this means. Looking at your profile, your from Bay Ridge. I lived in Bay Ridge for 8 years and while technically it's a part of "NYC", it has way more in common with Hoboken than it does with Manhattan. Just wondering what distinction you are making that you feel sets you apart?
khoboken
12:34 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Your self absorption is mind blowing.
Iman
12:35 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
You're a lovely woman and I mean that sincerely. Don't take these a-holes too seriously.
Eric
12:48 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Iman, don't start casting aspersions because you don't understand the question.
I really want to know what makes her, or anyone from Bay Ridge who went to an Ivy League school, feel they are any different from any other young professional who chose to live in Hoboken and have kids?
In what context does it make any difference to how you raise a child?
leafy
2:47 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Why are comments being pulled off this sight. Journey posted earlier as did I. There did not appear to be anything wrong with Journey's comment and all I wrote was, to paraphrase, "That was funny Journey" . If possible, could the comment-puller explain why the comments were pulled?
khoboken
3:09 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
KZ has a very thin skin. This is not the first time she has whined and complained about comments which are then removed. She dishes out heaps of stale pablum and makes insane comments like the one about occupying a rare "niche" in NJ and doesnt realize that the comment is condescending, arrogant, self abosrbed and insulting. But she pretty much thinks that even the most mundane and dreary aspects of her ordinary life are special and unique and that her specialness enables her to provide valuable insight to those less fortunate than her to occupy her "niche". And Claire babys her.
Journey
3:07 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The censorship here is not often and when it does happen, why does it happen to me?
Redrider765
3:09 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
If you reply to someone and the person you replied to has their post erased, I think yours goes "poof" too.
Journey
3:33 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
My parents always told me, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
UptownGirl
4:38 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
It's a vagina, not a clown car
leafy
6:16 pm on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I understand removing what would constitute hate-speech comments, but removing what was here earlier today was caving to someone's ego. Khoboken nailed the situation with his/her comment. So, now that it's clear that this is a censored blog, it is also clear that this site should not be considered any kind of a news outlet.
Rasping Gecko
1:29 pm on Thursday, May 26, 2011
"Do I represent a narrow population niche? Absolutely. There are not many NYC-native Ivy-league educated households in New Jersey."
You must not be that familiar with New Jersey. There are plenty of NYC-native, Ivy-league educated households in NJ. Go to towns like Short Hills, Millburn, Summit, Chatham, etc. and you'll find them in droves. And I have to comment: though you may have an ivy league education, you're a fine example that an expensive education apparently does not include lessons in basic grammar. Frankly, yours is atrocious.