Clearly, the worst thing about having only two political parties in America is that come December, About Town only gets two holiday parties to attend.

On Monday night we attended a party hosted by the Hoboken Democratic Committee. The Wednesday before we partied with the Republicans of Hoboken group. So that About Town can make no one happy by trying to make everyone happy, note that there are actually two GOP groups in town, and that the Democrats are split into what we call the Coke Democrats and the Pepsi Democrats.

Before we tell you about who may or may not have slurred drunk karaoke, About Town wants to mention our own politics. People often ask, and this way when we insult various people later you'll understand.

If you want a label, we're more of a Democrat because we're less of a Republican. About Town thinks arguing over the size of government is the wrong debate. It's too philosophical. One side always says it's cold, wear a coat, and the other always says screw it, I'm wearing shorts, but neither dresses for the weather as it actually is.

Hopefully one day America will get better politics that leads to better government. In the meantime, now that we dished on the parties, let's dish on the parties.

Last Wednesday the Republicans of Hoboken hosted their holiday party at Moran's. The group asked guests to donate a non-perishable food for the needy, and in return Moran's gave them a free drink. Where the Republicans got that commie idea About Town doesn't know.

It was an intimate but festive affair. About Town chatted with the Republicans of Hoboken chair, the regal Diana Davis. We also met noted righties Chris Carbine, Bill Noonan, James Sanford and local politico and Patch blogger Scott Siegel.

About Town polled and found that some of the local Republicans like Jon Huntsman and others like Ron Paul for President. Davis likes the guy with the four-letter first name that ends in a T, Bent or Taut or something like that.

Davis has an idea that's so great it might finally give the GOP a majority of support in Hudson County. Or at least more than 7 percent. Basically, she's pledged to help About Town find a girlfriend.

She noted that About Town always writes about looking for love, so she's going to play matchmaker. She asked if we'd ever date a Republican woman, and we said we'd date any of the six who haven't been horndogged by Herman Cain.

Regrettably, we left the Republicans' party too early, mostly because we had to prepare for the pentathlon the next day.

Later, on Monday, About Town went to the Democrats' party at the Clam Broth House.

It was a toy drive. About Town bought something called the Princess Pony, part of the Princess Collection. She's pink and has a soft mane and long tail, and comes with markers to draw on her. Then we also bought something for the toy drive. 

The Democrats had a lively party. Both Coke and Pepsi drinkers attended, including Assemblyman Ruben Ramos, (and his colleagues Sean Connors and Joan Quigley), Freeholder Anthony Romano, City Councilmembers Theresa Castellano, Beth Mason, Tim Occhipinti and Michael Russo, Chief of Staff Dan Bryan as the Mayor's proxy, Cultural Affairs director Geri Fallo, School Board member Peter Biancamano and politicos, committee members and guests Perry Belfiore, Joe Branco, Andrew Brown, Matt Calicchio, Nick Calicchio, John Castellano, Phil Cohen, Keith Furman, Ines Garcia-Keim, Christopher Mackin, Avi Ohring, Miriam Pinchevsky, Rami Pinchevsky, Frank Raia and Jennifer Rock.

The party got somber for a moment early as the Democrats honored Maurice Fitzgibbons, who died on Sunday night.

“It's a sad day today,” the Democrats' chair Jamie Cryan said. “He was an interesting character, there's really no other way to say it.”

Indeed. Surely in conversation everyone shared some great Maurice stories. Those conversations blended into a very peppy atmosphere with dance music and mirror ball lighting, and a buffet dinner and open bar.

Before leaving About Town told Cryan what the Republicans had offered.

“We'll get you two girlfriends,” he said.

Two girlfriends? For About Town? Come on. That's the Democrats for you, always promising more than they can deliver.

Alan Skontra was a big dork who never went anywhere. Then he started writing the About Town column for Patch, and now he's everywhere. Have a hot tip on an event in Hoboken? Send an invitation, questions and comments too, to alanskontra@hotmail.com, and peep his tweets @alanskontra.