Over the last forty years, the average age of first-time mothers in the United States has been steadily rising, with over a third having their first child over the age of 30. Most of us have careers before having children. The percentage of women struggling with infertility has also risen—precisely because we're waiting longer to start our families.

Moms today are dealing with a set of issues that is starkly different from what our mothers experienced. Depending on our life situation (graduate school, marital status, fertility level), a lot of us find child care choices severely limited. A doctor with a mountain of school debt may not have the option of staying home, nor can a mother whose family relies on her job for health insurance. Fertility issues can rapidly deplete any savings accrued by working through our twenties.

In many ways, I am incredibly lucky. My husband and I expected to have fertility issues because there is strong family history. Because having a family was very important to us, we saved conscientiously throughout our twenties and early thirties in anticipation of costly fertility treatment.

Much to our surprise, we became pregnant easily twice in a row. That dramatically changed our available options. Suddenly we had a large chunk of savings not specifically earmarked for a goal. When I was stricken with hyperemis gravidarum during my first pregnancy, my focus shifted dramatically away from my career and toward my family life. Staying home was something I began out of necessity, but as time wore on, I began to enjoy it. After our daughter was born, my husband and I had a serious conversation about what we both wanted, and I stayed home and began working as a consultant for my former employer. We had our second child right after the first in order to make the most of the time I had at home.

Money was very tight in the beginning. I was determined not to dip into our savings but was comforted by the knowledge that they were there, like a giant safety net. Having that huge savings cushion enabled us to do something I never in my wildest dreams imagined possible; becoming a home owner in Hoboken.

We have loved living in Hoboken for the past eight years, but the year we've spent as home owners really cemented our ties to the community. I joined the Hoboken Family Alliance and met some wonderful moms through there who have become valued advisers helping to guide me through school choices and managing my business.

Motherhood, like life, is unpredictable. All we can do is plan for what we think will happen and then be prepared to be wrong. There is no big scorecard in the sky keeping track of our life choices. All we can do is adapt to the unexpected and be thoughtful along the way. By caring and being flexible, we are being the best parents possible for our children.   

To read more about what makes Kathy Zucker tick, check out her blog at http://hobokenmomcondo.com/momblog and follow her at http://twitter.com/zhobokenmom