Best parenting advice I never received

Written by Linsay E.. Reposted from Sitterfied's blog

If there’s a single, universal truth about parenting, it’s this: You will receive more parenting advice, tips, guidance and helpful hints than you know what to do with. The other truth? About 95% of it won’t really apply to your situation, your life, your worldview and your kids – and most of it will directly contradict some other advice that you just got.

You’ll get parenting advice from everyone; your mother, your mother-in-law, that homeless lady that sits next to you on the bus, all of those parenting books and blogs that you read obsessively, and most of all, from your single, childless friends.

Pick Your Battles

Here’s an earth-shattering revelation that those self-help parenting books won’t tell you: NO ONE actually knows what they’re doing. Everyone’s just doing the best they can with what they have — so choose what works for you and go with it.

And if what works for you changes from day to day – or moment to moment – oh well! When it comes to parenting, there are so many battles to fight that you’ve got to just pick the important ones. Your three-year-old wants to wear her favorite – horrible, ripped-up, too-small — t-shirt again? Is it the worth the tantrum that will ensue if you say no, or can you live with the fact that she’ll look like a character from Oliver Twist for a day?

You can still be consistent while saving your sanity. Instead of battling it out over the little things that don’t really matter, just step back and chill out – otherwise, you’re going to be spending a lot of time stressing. Save your energy for the big things that really matter.

Take a Break

Parenting is a consuming activity, to say the least. It’s all too easy to get swallowed up in the day-to-day demands and joys that it brings. Don’t let your own identity or your relationship with your partner get lost in the chaos!

While it may seem difficult to make time for each other, it’s essential to devote time to your relationship, as well as to take time for yourself. Finding time alone or with your significant other allows you to refresh, reset and ensure that your relationship – and your mental health – are doing OK.

That means if you need help, ask for it. Call upon a trusted babysitter, friend or family member to watch the little ones so you can get away for some alone or couple time. Even an hour or two can make a big difference!

Let Go

Sometimes, the best parenting advice is to simply let go.

Everything doesn’t have to be perfect all of the time. The world won’t end if the dishes are sitting in the sink or the laundry isn’t folded. Your kids do not need a $3,500 stroller. They can still get into Harvard even if they don’t get into that swanky preschool. They do not need to learn to read by age two in order to have happy, fulfilling lives.

So take a deep breath, know that everything will work out fine – and just enjoy this crazy journey. They’re only going to be little once, after all; even though when you’re wiping poop off of the changing table, trying to get your screaming toddler to eat his peas or hearing the theme song from “Thomas the Tank Engine” echo through your head for the umpteenth time, it may feel like time is dragging on endlessly, it’s actually passing pretty fast. Enjoy it while it lasts!